The Pee in the Pog Tube

Yes, it is as gross as it sounds. Let me start by saying that I'm pretty sure I'm going to go to LPN school before I move back into an RN program. I have 2 possible schools in the running right now, and I have started my paperwork for acceptance. Part of this lovely acceptance process is submitting a physical, background check, and drug screening. None of this is hard to accomplish, I'm in good health, never been convicted of a crime, and never taken a drug in my life.... but it is a pain because each of these things have to be done at a different location throughout the county!! Yesterday I decided to tackle the drug screening. I headed out to the lab about a half hour away and made sure I drank a diet coke on the way there so no matter what, I would have to pee! I got there and was immediately hit by some really strange scents. I can't explain it, the only thing I can think that could possibly create that scent would be something really stinky covered up by a lot of scented cleaning product. There were rows of chairs set up, more courthouse or dmv style than a Dr. office. Maximum capacity of seating was 25, and then if you exceeded that you were to line up outside. (That's a high class establishment right there!) It wasn't long before I was called in. Luckily I was able to snag a seat....The lady took my form and instructed me to set down my purse and folder on the chair (like the chair you sit in to have blood drawn), EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! So I put my folder down and set my purse on top of it, just in case. (The folder is disposable, the purse, not so much.) And then she had me wash my hands, and handed me a container that looked like a POG TUBE! I'm not even exaggerating. For those of you that do not remember pogs, the opening is like the size of a gatorade bottle. Then I was told to leave my frickin' Coach purse and other belongings where they sat on that nasty chair out in the open of a room with other people in it, and go to the bathroom and pee in the pog tube. Great. So I just thought to myself, "it'll be okay, just get it done as quickly as physically possible and get out!!!!" Now, seriously, I'm gonna be completely honest with ya'll.... as a female, how do you pee in something like that and NOT pee on your hand at some point? If anyone has any special techniques, please share, because I'm really bothered by this. The worst part? There were no paper towels in this bathroom. All you get is a toilet, toilet paper, and a sink. No soap, no paper towels, no towelettes like the nicer facilities have, NOTHING. So I pee'd, wiped it and my hands off as best I could, and handed it back to the lady and asked if I could go to the other sink outside and wash my hands. AND she had the nerve to ask me if I wiped off the pog tube. Seriously!?!??!?! I should have left it and told her to gimme something to wipe it with and I might think about it. Grrrrrrrr. So after applying the sticker to my tube, with her gloved hand still, she picks up a pen and starts filling out my paperwork, and then HANDS ME THE PEN to sign my name. NASTY NASTY NASTY. How many other times has she done this with that pen?So I signed it as fast as I could, picked up all my stuff, and headed for the door as fast as possible and then drenched myself with as much hand sanitzer as I could. I put it all over my hands and up and down my arms. I felt sooooo nasty. I seriously needed to be hosed down with sanitizer after that. I proceeded to re-drench my hands every hour or so for the rest of the day until they were dry and flaky by the evening. So please cross your fingers for me and say a prayer that I get in to this school and hopefully do not have to have another experience like this for quite a while. 

My next adventure? Fingerprinting!